Greek mythology : Corvus the Crow: Figs, Lies & Feather Makeovers
Once upon a sun-drenched Greek morning, the god Apollo sent his silver-feathered crow on a simple errand:
“Fetch me some water.”
That’s it. Not kill a hydra. Not seduce a nymph. Just grab a drink.
But this bougie bird got distracted. Not by an existential crisis or a thunderbolt war—just half-ripened figs.
The crow waited, snacked, had a solo picnic… and only when he realized he was massively late, panicked.
So naturally, he lied to Apollo.
Spoiler: Bad move.
Apollo, who wasn’t exactly known for letting things slide (ask Cassandra), saw through the excuse immediately.
As punishment?
The crow’s silver-white feathers were turned permanent goth black
His beautiful singing voice got downgraded to cursed croak 2.0
And boom, he was forever rebranded as the annoying sky gremlin you now see in parking lots.
Because nothing says “divine accountability” like a cosmic makeover out of petty disappointment.
Hindu mythology : Flying Elephants, Fallen Branches, and Furious Dirghatamas(yogi)
Meanwhile in ancient India, elephants could fly.
No, really. Majestic winged elephants used to soar through the skies like giant armored pigeons.
Until one day, they decided trees were the new landing pads.
So a cluster of winged jumbos took a break on top of a tree. Beneath that very tree, a peaceful yogi Dirghatamas was holding class with his students.
Physics did its thing. Branches snapped. The yogi got crushed.
Cue spiritual meltdown.
Instead of, say, reconsidering where to teach or building a fence, Dirghatamas cursed all elephants to lose their wings. Permanently.
And that’s how we ended up with ground-bound, trunked tanks instead of cloud-surfing sky whales.
Now here’s the thing:
If Dirghatamas had been hit by bird poop instead of elephants?
Would he have cursed birds to poop upwards?
Would clouds be banned?
We’ll never know. But clearly, ancient yogis had zero chill and could’ve used daily sessions of "anger exhale meditation™".
As George Costanza wisely put it:
“Serenity now… insanity later.”
Moral of the story :
Sky Whale to Sidewalk Slapper : The elephants landed where they shouldn’t. Got flight-cancelled forever.
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