Webs of Wrath: Starring Greek SpiderWoman and Indian SpiderMan – Arachne & Chenkannan

 

Greek Mythology: When a Goddess Threw a Tantrum Over Thread

The Players:

  • Arachne: Wild-eyed mortal weaver (skills: god-tier ego).

  • Athena: Green-eyed "wisdom" goddess (skills: fragile divinity).

The Duel:
Arachne boasted she could out-weave Athena. The goddess showed up disguised as a granny – because nothing says "mature deity" like catfishing – and challenged her.

The Tapestry Smackdown:

  • Athena wove: "Mortals: Know Your Place™" (feat. Poseidon side-eyeing peasants).

  • Arachne wove: "Zeus’s Greatest Dick Moves" (bulls, swans, golden showers – the whole nasty highlight reel).

The Meltdown:
Athena RIPPED Arachne’s tapestry, then guilt-tripped her so hard, the girl hung herself. "Lesson": Turned her into a spider – doomed to weave forever while dangling over toilets.

Moral: You can take amour propre out of a mortal, but you can’t take jealousy out of a goddess bitch.


Hindu Mythology: When a Spider Held a Multi-Life Grudge

The Players:

  • Wide-Eyed Spider: Devout web-spinner (obsession: protecting Shiva’s lingam from leaves).

  • Open-Eyed Elephant: Holier-than-thou temple janitor (obsession: ripping spider webs for flower arrangements).

The Feud:
Spider webbed Shiva’s idol daily. Elephant trashed it for aesthetic. Spider finally snapped: crawled up the elephant’s trunk, bit its brain. Both died in the crash.

Shiva’s "Gift":
Reborn the spider as Chenkannan – the Red-Eyed King (literally: "Eyes Bloodshot from Spite"). He built a massive temple... with the inner sanctum underground (ceiling too low for elephants).

Moral: You can make a king out of a spider, but you can’t take the spider out of the king.

The Unholy Parallels

  • Ego vs. Devotion: Arachne’s pride got her cursed; Spider’s devotion got him promoted (then cursed anyway).

  • Divine Pettiness: Athena murdered over art critique. Shiva rewarded a murderer (spider) and victim (elephant) equally – chaotic neutral king.

  • Forever Jobs: Arachne weaves webs eternally. Chenkannan built a temple to spite elephants beyond the grave.

Final Wisdom:

Gods: "Don’t outshine us."
Spiders: "Don’t touch our fucking webs."
Moral of both? Mind your business – or get woven into a myth about bad life choices.

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